The essence of the existential crisis is doing what you don’t intend, or not doing what you do intend. It’s like a loss of agency. Torn between your two options, trying to do what you want to do and doing what you don’t want to do, you break into a cold sweat. The prospect of doing either of the options fills you with terror or panic.
Kierkegaard’s Postscript is an encrypted account of his own spiritual trial or existential crisis. He wanted to marry Regine, but he just couldn’t do it, even when she begged him. He
actually broke off their engagement, even though he loved her.
According to Heidegger, the power of agency resides in our conscience. We choose
between our options like moral choices. When we are unable to execute these, it is our
conscience that is preventing us, through the agency of our body.
Our everyday mind makes moral decisions all the time, usually unreflectively, but on
occasion, a problem arises. We decide to do something but find that we can’t actually do it.
In fact we find ourselves performing diametrically opposite actions. For example we may
decide to make an amorous advance, but find ourselves unable to do it. In fact we may
scowl at our projected lover and even avoid them.
Kierkegaard believed that humans have a disposition towards all evil. Authenticity requires
that we are aware of having evil intentions. Failing that, our conscience will step in and
sabotage our efforts. It may be that in making our amorous advance, we will be taking advantage of someone who has made themselves vulnerable by loving us.
There are two stages to an existential choice. First we decide which option we choose. Then we put it into effect. Each option is hurtful for one or more of our significant others. So we have a moral dilemma. Our conscience decides which option we must put into effect. This may make it physically impossible for us to pursue our conscious intention. Our body won’t obey our commands when we try to do it, and it performs actions which are opposite to our intended course of action.
At the peak of the existential crisis, when we have two options, (effectively a moral dilemma), the body compulsively acts out the option preferred by the overall conscience. In fact our body then personifies the whole conscience and the whole personality.
The brain, using logic and common sense, likes to think it has control over the rest of the
body. But the whole body, as a functioning unit, holds the power of agency and conscience.
It decides what will or won’t be done next.